Bob Marley once said, “Truth is everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for”.
So in a group of friends and family last night we were discussing weighing the good and bad when deciding if it is worth it to get back together after a long separation. We discussed whether or not effort was put in during the separation to better each party separately. Like serious effort! Not one of those we separated so I can let my how flag fly lol. I mean serious self-reflection. Where does the fault of issues that led to the separation fall, who’s fault bucket weigh more? (Yes I said fault bucket lol)
I feel it’s human nature for significant others to blame one another when things fall apart. I mean how can you not be biased towards your own plight? It’s easy to break out the “You did this and that and this” sentences when the shit guys the fan!
You have to consider some of the wrongdoing is your fault! (Uh oh) I know you’re like Gigi what the hell I didn’t make my partner cheat, lie or even grow apart. That is all very true but you have to consider you allowed it to happen! You either lost interest or became too complacent or predictable or even to accepting of wrongdoing!
So let’s say you both say ok this tragic ended we’ve separated and now we’re both feeling like if we can do this thing one more time but the right way! Yay, the crowd roars!!! But keep in mind the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result -Albert Einstein. You need to evaluate together and separately these 8 questions!
- Is the bond or foundation of this relationship with fighting for?
- Can I let go of the past to rebuild the plan for a future?
- Have I truly and unbiasedly evaluated my role in the demise of the relationship?
- Has the other party evaluated their role in the same honest and totally unbiased manner as I have?
- Have we discussed how we are going to strategically manoeuver through another issue should it arise in the future?
- Can the trust be re-established?
- Am I doing this out of love or fear the unknown?
- Lastly, what is the endgame?
And always remember!
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” – Maya Angelou